The Smashing & Dashing 2022 Character Awards

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, munchkins!

Once again, it’s time for the Smashing & Dashing Character Awards, where we honor the most lovable, most intriguing, and most frustrating fictional characters we encountered in the past twelve months. This tag was originally created by the lovely C.G. Drews @Paper Fury, and I’ve kept it up because it’s the perfect way to look back over the year of reading and celebrate good books.

So without further ado, here are this year’s winners…

1. Most Relatable Character

Adrian Montague from The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee. Adrian’s story is a startlingly accurate portrayal of obsessive compulsive disorder, a mental illness I’ve struggled with to varying degrees all my life. At times, I hated how much I related to Adrian… but by the end, I was proud of how hard he had fought and how far he had come. And that, in turn, encouraged me to be proud of myself. ❤

2. Most Pure Animal Companion

Purest animal companion? Why, of course, it’s Gaspode the Dog from Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett.

This is irony. I’m being ironic. Appreciate my irony, peasants.

3. Fiercest Fighter

Captain Sam Vimes from Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. An incorrigibly stubborn bastard with a heart of gold and a thirst for justice, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side than Sam Vimes.

4. Am Surprised That I Loved You??

Meyer Landsman from The Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon. I didn’t expect to like this guy–he’s a divorced alcoholic, which is practically a recipe for “bitter misogynist”–but he’s not a misogynist at all. He steers safely between the Scylla and Charybdis of “my wife left me so all women owe me” and “my wife left me so I will stalk and harass her until she agrees to return.” I’m not saying Meyer doesn’t have serious flaws, because he does; but his attitude toward the opposite gender isn’t one of ’em. Quite refreshing.

5. Best Sassmaster

Sebastian Flyte from Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh, hands down. The sauciest of saucy boys.

6. Best Antihero

Captain Marko Ramius from The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy. Before you get your knickers in a knot from hearing me call him an “antihero,” may I remind you that Ramius murders a guy on, like, page five?? Besides, even though the movie tries to make his motives more altruistic, Ramius in the book is driven primarily by revenge. He has a very compelling reason for revenge, which makes him easy to root for, but he still strikes me as an antihero more than a traditional hero.

7. The Best Friends Of All

Miss Marple and Inspector Craddock from The Mirror Crack’d by Agatha Christie. I love this odd-couple friendship between the energetic young detective and the nosy–er, sorry, inquisitive–old lady. Beneath the gentle teasing and playful competition, there’s a genuine affection and loyalty which warms my heart.

8. Best Villain To Hate

Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu from I Must Betray You by Ruta Sepetys. Far from being distant figureheads, these brutal Communist dictators insert themselves into our protagonist’s life in a very tangible way when they coerce him into joining their army of informants.

9. Award For Best vs Worst YA Parents

Chloe’s moms from I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston are this year’s best YA parents. They strike the tricky balance between firm and supportive; allowing Chloe space to feel big feelings, but reining her in whenever she shows signs of going too far.

Meanwhile, Niall Lynch and Mór Ó Corra from Greywaren by Maggie Stiefvater enjoy the dubious distinction of being 2022’s worst YA parents. What exactly makes them “the worst” is a giant spoiler, so I won’t reveal it here… but gee whillikers, Maggie!!!

10. Ship Of All Ships In 2022

Jerry and Alanna from The Lady and the Tiger by Sam Starbuck. By the raw numbers, this one shouldn’t have worked for me–I don’t like friends-to-lovers, I don’t like “charming” male leads, I don’t even like royal romance–but none of that mattered, because Jerry and Alanna are a literal match made in heaven and I will stand by that statement.

11. Most Precious Must Be Protected

Brie Hutchens from In the Role of Brie Hutchens by Nicole Melleby is extremely precious and must be protected. She’s a thirteen-year-old girl afraid to come out as gay to her very Catholic parents and very Catholic school.

12. Honestly Surprised You’re Still Alive

Jack Ryan from The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy. When I say I’m surprised Jack is still alive, I don’t mean it in the traditional male action hero sense of “wow, he makes a lot of reckless decisions and jumps headfirst into danger,” because he doesn’t. Jack isn’t so much reckless as under-trained. Through no fault of his own, he keeps getting sent into situations which he lacks the necessary skills to handle, and must survive through guile and determination alone.

13. Award For Making The Worst Decisions

Every single character from A Passage to India by E.M. Forster. Needless to say, I was not impressed with this book.

14. Most In Need Of A Nap

Lord Caterham from The Secret of Chimneys by Agatha Christie. This adorable bean wants nothing more than to eat his poached eggs in peace, yet his annoying friend George Lomax insists on embroiling him in all sorts of unsavory diplomatic schemes “for the good of the Empire.” Most annoying, what?

15. Want To Read More About You

Thea Kronborg from The Song of the Lark by Willa Cather. Thea fascinates me deeply… a young woman clinging to dreams of artistic greatness in a nineteenth-century society where women are supposed to be useful, not “inspired.” They’re supposed to be wives, mothers, homemakers; or failing that, teachers or nurses. They’re supposed to nurture others, rather than nurturing their own creative spark. But Thea Kronborg isn’t about to be held back by a little thing like societal expectations.

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And there you have it, the winners of this year’s Smashing and Dashing Character Awards! I invite everyone who wishes to fill out the tag using the books they read this year. I’d love to see y’all’s answers! Here’s a clean copy of the questions to make it easier:

1. Most Relatable Character
2. Most Pure Animal Companion
3. Fiercest Fighter
4. Am Surprised That I Loved You??
5. Best Sassmaster
6. Best Antihero
7. The Best Friends Of All
8. Best Villain To Hate
9. Award for Best vs. Worst YA Parents
10. Ship Of All Ships In 2022
11. Most Precious Must Be Protected
12. Honestly Surprised You’re Still Alive
13. Award For Making the Worst Decisions
14. Most In Need Of A Nap
15. Want To Read More About You

Have fun, munchkins!